Claiming that he completely forgot about the much-hyped electronic device until the last minute, a frantic Steve Jobs reportedly stayed up all Tuesday night in a desperate effort to design Apple’s new tablet computer. “Come on, Steve, just think—think, dammit—you’re running out of time,” the exhausted CEO said as he glued nine separate iPhones to the back of a plastic cafeteria tray. “Okay, yeah, this will work. This will definitely work. Just need to write ‘tablet’ on this little strip of masking tape here and I’m golden. Oh, come on, you piece of shit! Just stick already!”

Think dammit, think!

Middle-of-the-night sources reported that Jobs then began work on double-spacing his keynote presentation and increasing the font size to make it appear longer… Okay, this isn’t true obviously but actually some great work from the folks over at The Onion who have gotten a little tablet fever today just like the rest of us. We’ll have a run through the Apple tablet release in the morning, just so ya know.